You are not a Proverbs 31 woman.
You never will be a Proverbs 31 woman.
It’s not because you don’t try hard enough or because you are a failure.
It’s because the Proverbs 31 woman is the personification of wisdom. The Proverbs 31 wife is what happens for us when we choose to marry wisdom.
I realize this is probably a totally new concept for you, but this view makes much more sense when you look at the book of Proverbs as a whole.
Miss Wisdom and Miss Foolishness in Proverbs
The book of Proverbs is a book of wisdom poetry written by Solomon. The beginning of the book paints a picture of wise old King Solomon sitting with his son and describing that he has two choices in life. He could choose wisdom or choose foolishness.
In chapters 1-9 of Proverbs, Solomon extensively personifies wisdom and foolishness as women.
For example, Proverbs 4:8-9 refers to Miss Wisdom when he says:
Cherish her, and she will exalt you;
embrace her, and she will honor you.
She will give you a garland to grace your head
and present you with a glorious crown.
Proverbs 9:13 says about Miss Foolishness:
Folly is an unruly woman;
she is simple and knows nothing.
Chapters 10-31:9 of Proverbs define in detail what it looks like to choose wisdom or choose foolishness.
Then comes Proverbs 31: 10-31 otherwise known as the happy ending. Until this point, we don’t know who Solomon’s son has chosen. Did he choose Miss Wisdom or Miss Foolishness?
The Proverbs 31 answers the question. Miss Wisdom is no longer just a woman. Now she is a wife. Solomon’s son has chosen wisdom and married her. She is highly productive for him. Now he is respected, has an impressive real estate portfolio, and his kids are finely clothed.
The Freedom of Marrying Wisdom
When Christian women read Proverbs today, we are not supposed to compare ourselves to Miss Wisdom. We are supposed to compare ourselves to Solomon’s son who has to make a decision. Will we marry Miss Wisdom or Miss Foolishness?
When I first heard this view from Dr. Toews at Cairn University, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my soul. I don’t have to do all. the. things.
This makes sense when we realize that God has uniquely created each woman. We aren’t all seamstresses. We aren’t all saleswomen. We don’t all import our food from afar. We don’t all have servants. We aren’t all farmers or real estate moguls. We aren’t all supposed to rise up early and go to bed late every single night. We aren’t all moms. We aren’t all wives.
Proverbs 31 cannot be a to-do list since God does not want cookie cutter Christian women.
Instead, God wants Christian women to choose wisdom. Choosing wisdom looks different for each woman depending on her culture, position, abilities, and season of life.
Although choosing wisdom will look different for each woman, there are three wisdom principles that remain the same.
Choosing wisdom begins with fearing the Lord
Fearing the Lord is a big theme in the book of Proverbs. The phrase appears 20 times.
Proverbs 9:10 says:
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
Ask the Lord when you need specifics
Proverbs is detailed when it comes to what choosing wisdom looks like, but it doesn’t cover every situation that might possibly arise. If you find yourself stumped, ask God to give you the specific wisdom you need.
James 1:5 says:
If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
Rest in the freedom of choosing wisdom
Release yourself from the impossible to-do list view of Proverbs 31. Rest in the Lord and what He has done for you through Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:30
It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God–that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.
For a more indepth look at this structure of the book of Proverbs, check out this article .
Thank you so much!
Thank you Rachel. The freedom you draw our attention to deserves celebration and perhaps more prayer. May God bless the work of your hands today, my friend.
I think you are right about more prayer. Thank you for pointing that out. We need to pray for wisdom and pray for discernment that what we hear as wisdom is truly from the Lord. It’s like my 8 year old asked me the other day: “Mom. When we think God is telling us something, how do we know that it is God talking and not just our own head?”
You have a 8 year old smarty pants!
Mind blown! And I love it. Of course, this view makes sense. I will still aspire to have many of these characteristics but there is freedom in hearing that it’s not a checklist I’m supposed to master at some point (with modern equivalencies ☺️) Thank you!
Thanks for commenting! I think as we seek wisdom from the Lord and we obey Him, we will, as a result, exhibit those qualities.
I love this. It makes so much sense. What great freedom. Your post confirms what God has been saying to me lately : “I didn’t make you to be perfect, I made you to be extraordinary!” Big difference. God doesn’t need our performance or to-do lists. That’s not His heart. Great post
Thanks for reading and commenting! Yes, God wants us to rely on Him for wisdom and guidance every step of the unique journey He has planned for us.
[…] I now have a better understanding about the wife of wisdom in Proverbs 31, when I was a mom of young children, I thought she was the picture of godliness that presented the […]
Rachel may I tranlate your blogpost into Dutch and share it (under your name) on my blog? It is very good to share it. I will link it to your blog. And also share a little bit out of your “About”.
Yes, you may translate the blogpost into Dutch. Thank you for asking and thank you for always reading and commenting. I appreciate you!
Thank you, Rachel. Very enlightening. Please note that your last link for Beautiful Thing is broken.
Thank you for reading, Wendy, and for noting the broken link. It appears that blogger doesn’t have their site up anymore! I was hoping that it would pop back up, but no luck. And I don’t know the blogger personally so I don’t have a way to ask her. I’ll have to remove the link. Thank you!
[…] You are Not the Proverbs 31 Woman […]
The Enticement of Sin
8Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction,
and do not forsake the teaching of your mother.
9For they are a garland of grace on your head
and a pendant around your neck.
In Proverbs only the sun is being taught and the sun is taught by the mother what the instructions of the father are
This suggests to me a symbolic interpretation where are the son a male
Is symbolic of active conscious mind
Then who does Jesus say pictures of all things
The holy Spirit
The third part of the trinity
That teaches and nutures so as to move from the renewed heart to renewed Mind
And once again here we have your son as the conscious mind renewed and matured by the holy Spirit who is the feminine part in the holy Trinity
Thanks for commenting and sharing your thoughts, but I have to say that I disagree with saying that the Holy Spirit is the feminine part of the Trinity. God created both male and female in His image, therefore, both male and female are reflective of God’s total character. There is no indication in Scripture that the Holy Spirit is feminine. Maleness and femaleness is applicable to human bodies only because of our physical bodies.